Plesitheas Fine Dining Recomendations

[Rho]

Hello monsters...

To honor one of our greatest gourmets I shall reopen this recipe book, please feel free to add your own delectable concoctions.

To begin, one of my favorites:
Three Bloods Soup

Serves: 3-6

Ingredients:
1 Spicy, flavorful looking wizard
1 Druid reeking of flowers
1 Delicious looking cleric
15-30 units of mana
5 units of Iron (Optional)
(20 Units of shadow if served cold)

Preparation:
As you can tell, human magic users are preferred for this recipe, as their base connection to magical forces gives their blood a rather… energizing quality. Now remember to work this recipe with haste, as human blood cools very quickly, and vampires are known to be… less than forgiving of a cook for serving cold blood.

First hang the corpses upside down, and then remove their heads. Proceed to drain the corpses of equal amounts of blood, 1 pint each for three monsters, 2 for 6. It may be cliché, but blood tastes best when drunk from a human skull, so with the utmost care remove the top of their heads and take out their brain (If there are ghouls in your clan or you have a zombie you wish to ally with, use the brains to butter them up ;) ).

Now fill each skull with 1/3 of a pint of blood from each human and add 5 units of mana to the mixture, remember to serve immediately as the mana will magically accelerate the rate of coagulation in the blood. Alternately you can serve the soup cold (It is recomended you warn any undead in your clan about this before hand) by storing the extracted blood in a container surrounded by shadow, 20 units should do, and adding some to the blood for flavor. Use Iron if the blood is wan or too light (Humans are notorious for poor nutritional habits).

Serve and enjoy!

Kerberos The Ghoul

[Gronch]

Me Gronch get recipe from Bronch, me Gronch's cousin and family cook.

- Capture Feeniks.
First capture Feeniks. This easy. Put yucky bird-seed on ground, then wait. When Feeniks come to eat bird-seed, clobber head until Feeniks go sleepy.

- Make Feeniks yummy.
Next you make Feeniks yummy. First take Feeniks back to cave in bag. Make sure bag no burn or you have to carry Feeniks in arms, and that hurt since Feeniks hot.

Next you kill Feeniks. THIS VERY IMPORTANT. Feeniks fly away and you get made to clean cave for week, like me Gronch did once.

Kill Feeniks by bashing head with hands. You also use club, sword, or boulder, but me Gronch not allowed to, since me Gronch once cut off own ear with knife.

Now that Feeniks dead, you get to cook. Since Feeniks deaded, Feeniks's scary sun-magic no protect Feeniks from fire no more. Since Feeniks already on fire, this very convenient.

Put Feeniks on bunch of iron. Then put iron around Feeniks, and on top, but not too much, or fire go out, and you get beaten up like me Gronch did once.

Wait for Feeniks to cook self. Let outside get yummy burned and inside stay yummy bloody. This make perfect eat for dinner.

When Feeniks ready, next you do fun part. Take Feeniks by claws and thwack again wall many many many times, until Feeniks no on fire no more. This also make Feeniks into little bitty Feenikses, perfect for snack later.

Feeniks serve 10 orcs, or just 1, if you sneaky like Gronch, hee, hee, hee!

Oh, IMPORTANT!!! No eat claws! Give bad bad indigestion. Make tummy hurt. If really want to eat claw, cut off pointy part (me Gronch no allowed to do this) and suck out claw-meat. Tasty!!


Me Gronch spoken.

[Nanakii]

You disgust me.

- Galenth

[Lurker]

mmm, I will pass this on to our cook. Our Fungus Buffet could use some novelty.

[TaylorMDavis]

Dat meak Bruise da Troll sick inm me tumby.

-Bruise da Troll

[Rho]

To all aspiring chefs, remember that even the best cooks can't please everyone. That said, dont get discouraged by criticism.
And Galenth, if you dislike Gronches recipe or mine offer a suggestion rather criticism.

P.S. Bruise, gray potions work wonders when testing new recipes.

Kerberos the Ghoul.

[Nanakii]

And Galenth, if you dislike Gronches recipe or mine offer a suggestion rather criticism.

Let me see, now...

I do believe Gronch's recipe could be improved by substituting the Phoenix ingredient with something else. Perhaps something that is not a direct descendant from Grendel! Really, you should be more careful in contriving these so-called recipes, lest you be confused by your brethern for a human.

[Gronch]

Me Gronch no care what birdie say! You birdies no children of Grendel, orc and trolls and minnytors and ogres children of Grendel! You birdies too much like uglies, you like big fireball in sky, you even fly to it! You do scary magic spells like uglies, make snow and fire come from mouth! You fly over big water to uglies and make friends with uglies! Only birdies that not evil are birdies with no wings, like Spinkses! Spinkses nice, not birdies! Rest of you birdies ugly, and me no like you!

[Marnevel]

I think somebody needs a good solid burning.

[Pender]

I have no need for recipes.

When I'm hungry, I just go outside.

Plenty of fried things outside our lair.

Kragg the Gryphon

[Rho]

Hello again fellow monsters, I plan on adding one or more of these recipees every week, this weeks repartee shall be:

Holier than thou stew.
Serves 4

Ingredients:
1 Holier than thou cleric
1 High and mighty priest
1 Snobbish clergyman
6 Units of Mana
9 Units of Shadow

The key ingredient here is the holier than thou cleric, so while the priest and cleric may be substituted it is recommended that you use the cleric. There are two ways you can prepare this dish, one is to emphasize the pretentious goodness of these humans by gently stewing them in their own juices with a bit of mana to bring out the healing flavor.

The other is to use their oh-so-holy flavor but juxtaposing it with the fear and desperation of their death. For this method make it a point to prolong their deaths as long as possible, don’t bother cleaning the bodies either, the dirtier the better the contrast will be! Finally violently boil them with shadow to finish the stew.

Recently chimerae have, for some strange reason, taken to eating human armor and shields. While I cant fathom why, I think you’ll find this salad will make the practice more palatable.

Woodsy Salad.
Serves 1

Ingreedients:
Leafy greens (Yech)
1 Human – any kind (Yum)
1 Wooden shield
Assorted condiments
Grey potion – recommended

Since chimera like simple meals I will keep this simple. Get the shield and turn it so its concave part is up, fill it with whatever you like depending on your diet and top the salad with whatever condiments you like. If you are, how to put this delicately… of a size smaller than the shield, consider adding the human last… by dropping him from a very large height to crack the shield and thus have more manageable portions. Whether the human is alive or not is up to you ;)

Lastly, use the grey potion as a dressing to help with the digestion.
Enjoy!

Kerberos the Ghoul
P.S. This last ones for you Pyrish, I’m sure you’ll appreciate it ;)

[Eclipse]

Spirit soup
Ingredients:
one shredded Magic user
3 cups Wizard Broth
1\4 cup salt
3\4 preists
2 cups fresh blood
1 cup grey liquid
2 tomatos
3 carrots

mix well and let boil for 56 minutes. while it is cooking add the grey liquid and blood so all the flavor stays in when it is put into storage :) next add a bit of pale green liquid so if anybody has been poisoned by a witch or anything else it will be cured.
after that add some of the healing potion.(I forget what colour it was but you can remember ;) mix well until it all looks an even colour now all we have to do is wait another 20 minutes :D once it is done, just put 12 units of shadow around it. Time for the fun part :) and don't forget to chop the veggies up ^_^

serves 4 to 10 monsters

[Eclipse]

ingredients:
4 chubby clerics
2 cups grey liquid
6 units stone
1 cup blood

how to cook it: flame the wood until it starts burning, mix well if you don't your cookies will turn out very bad. put on or under it if that is possible.(under is better) fire and wait for 30 minutes or until cookies look done.
after that all you have to do is top it off with black liquid or leave that off whatever you prefer :)

serves 11 to 5 monsters

note: this recipie is made simple for most of you who don't want to waste too much time :)