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All I really need to know, I learned from my StoryTeller

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  • All I really need to know, I learned from my StoryTeller

    My very favourite person in the whole world is my first StoryTeller. A godling, a genius, a Renaissance Man... he made me a sorceress, a space-traveler, a vampire and a princess all in the span of our first few years playing together. The following are a taste of some of the fine, fine lessons he taught me:

    - Respect your elders, and the big fella with the semi-automatic machine gun.
    - Don't take candy, fruit or unmarked vials of poison from strangers.
    - When something looks too good to be true, it is usually is. Then Cthulhu shows up.
    - Interdimensional public transportation is quick and easy.
    - Bringing pizza and Mountain Dew to an event makes you popular and increases longevity.
    - Being cute does not deter truly evil beings from causing you harm. A red dragon will happily char and eat your nice face.
    - Anything is possible, especially when a pantheon of gods like you.
    - Never volunteer to go into the keep first. That is where the necromancer lives.
    - All you really need to be happy is a flat surface and dice. And the Mountain Dew.
    - You can game from dusk until dawn, sleep one hour, and function perfectly during an 8-hour work day.
    - Denny's is your friend. Taco Bell is your friend. Domino's Pizza is your friend.
    - When asked, "Are you /sure/ you want to do that?" you probably want to rethink your plan.

    Customer Experience Host

  • #2
    If I may add to that list...

    One of the most valuable lessons my first StoryTeller taught me that still carries in all my games to this day:

    -When you *do* enter a new room or area and you are looking things over: Don't forget to look up.


    Customer Experience Host
    Customer Experience Host


    • #3
      My favorite, and the one I use extensively myself, for which I am known is...

      "Ok, so which one of you touches the door first?"


      • #4

        All I can say Rachiel...

        MUCH TOO TRUE!

        My first time playing, thankfully, my significant other was GMing. He's one of the best ones anyone has had the pleasure of gaming with (so I've heard repeatedly).

        The mountain dew? Too true.

        The pizzas? Oh, yeah!

        The combination of success to any gaming period? Snackums...(otherwise known as: Snacky Cakes) and caffeine. Ah...what a wonderful world.

        Then as you're finishing your gaming session and you look outside to say: Hey! Where did that sun come from?!!

        You can go home a happy man and/or woman.

        What a wonderful life.



        • #5
          One of the staple meals around the "gaming" house that I frequented daily was pasta and chocolate. With respect to our strange eating habits, I refer to the "Don't ask, don't tell" mandate upheld in the military. Maybe we were just poor yet decadent in those days?

          We also enjoyed that wretched instant coffee that comes in a square can... Celebrate the moments of your life. We were celebrating the moments of all lives on the planet with the way we drank that garbage.

          Now that I am an online role-playing junkie, I tend to make Taco Bell runs at midnight. Nothing like making your dollar go really far. Did I mention that Taco Bell offers Mountain Dew?

          Customer Experience Host


          • #6
            Okay, I'll weigh in on this one.

            My favorite lesson learned from a GM had to do with...oh, how should I put this? The value of blanket parties (for reference, see Full Metal Jacket.) Self policing of the group would be kinder way of putting it but Malik hates being kinder! Anyway, you know when some kid plays his character as a punk to the point that the group would have to "take care of him" (and you know what I mean ) and then he'd cry...bwahahahahahahaha!

            Lesson learned: don't be a punk!

            But that's just me.

            Customer Experience Host
            Customer Experience Host


            • #7
              I have also learned a thing or two from my GM's of past and have passed out a few tidbits of wisdom as well:
              - Casual, one-night-stand sex does not exist in RPG's. The fling, or their relatives, usually show up to keelhaul you within a few years and most deservedly at just the WRONG moment.
              - Creativity in using magic, skills, and powers earns more points than brute force any day. (i.e.- I'll use my basket weaving skill to make a dumbwaiter from rope and straw and use lower myself down into the hole)
              - Having players always refer to each other by their characters' names will either be incrediibly annoying (and dismissed within an hour) or help create more use of player knowledge than you can keep control of.
              - I'd take a better dodge skill than a great to-hit skill anyday. ANY day!


              • #8
                Originally posted by Malik:
                Anyway, you know when some kid plays his character as a punk to the point that the group would have to "take care of him"
                I've seen this happen, only it wasn't the players doing in another player, it was the characters doing in another character. The player (a really nice guy) had created a true sphincter of a character, and played him to the hilt. The other characters (not players) got so sick of him (the character) that they jumped him. It was great fun, even for the guy whose character got whacked.


                • #9
                  I have to add a few of my favorites here..

                  At least in my intimate table top games, the following applies..

                  1) The GM is always right.
                  2) Fresh hot coffee brough to the GM adds longevity to a characters life expectancy and prolongs the parties pain and suffering.
                  3) If the GM is smiling, its too late.
                  4) The GM is your friend, your father, your mother, your lover, your confident, your worst nightmare and your most hated enemy, along with every other denzien of your life.
                  5) When the GM says sweetly, "But its JUST a kobolt", its time to pull out the big spells.
                  6) Mountain Dew IS a food group.
                  7) Dice are considered missle weapons, and the GM is a certified master in them.
                  8) Taverns are undoubtedly the best place to find out anything about anyone or anyplace..for a price.
                  9) Game Master screens have one purpose and one purpose only...shielding the Reeses Pieces from the players hands.
                  10) If the GM is wrong, see rule #1

                  I think the rest of my favorites were already covered. =P
                  Formerly Arrion & Darra


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Erica:
                    I have to add a few of my favorites here.

                    ...some text deleted...

                    2) Fresh hot coffee brough to the GM adds longevity to a characters life expectancy and prolongs the parties pain and suffering.
                    In one of my local gaming groups, it is not coffee but white zinfandel (which paradoxically, is pink.)

                    -- Christopher Allen


                    • #11
                      I think the best rule for running a game is to make it focus on the characters, not the setting, or the NPCs you make. If somebody picked Agriculture as a skill, make it useful at some point. I always base the setting to match the characters, not the other way around. After all, the purpose of the game is to entertain the players, not the storyteller.

                      Plus, make the characters seem important to some degree. Humble them "the weapon master deflects your blow with the flick of his wrist" "the Queen looks upon you as filth and gestures her guards to dispose of you". But give them the opportunity to make an affect on the environment. Players don't need to feel insignificant, like they are stumbling around doing nothing (ok, maybe at first they can). But most people spend their real lives doing this, it's no fun to repeat it in an RPG.
                      Lovecraft Country: Albert Zero
                      Castle Marrach: Cody the Blade

                      StoryCoder Azrael tells StoryHermit Death, "I *did* get told "you're amazing" by a girl when I was saucing my hotdog..."



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