Courtesy in a Nutshell: Fine Amour & The Etiquette of Kissing

[Sinvy]

Dear Denizens,

Below you will find basic information about the art of Fine Amour and the proper etiquette of hand and cheek kissing.

As with most societal rules, they are subject to change with the times, and any changes to protocol will be posted for general education.

~ Mistress Sinvy, Patron of the Courtesy Circle

*several indigo-bordered missives have been tidily pinned beneath this one*

OOC:

Courtesy in a Nutshell: Entering & Leaving

Courtesy in a nutshell: Rank & Expectations

Courtesy in a Nutshell: Expectations of Servants

Courtesy in a Nutshell: Public, Private & Event Conduct

Courtesy in a Nutshell: Courtship Courtesy

[Sinvy]

Fine Amour

Fine Amour

The art of Fine Amour is the decorous display of love and adoration from an appropriate distance. Fine Amour is the epitome of Courtly Romance, suitable to be practiced by all ranks, usually toward someone who is unavailable, either by circumstance or choice. It is the practice of wooing and romancing without expectation.

The Wooer

• You must remember this is romancing without expectation.

• You may compose songs, poems and send humble gifts.

• You may fight in tournaments in their name.

• You must not overstep your bounds.

The Wooed

• You must publicly and politely rebuke the initial wooing.

• If it suits you, you should eventually show thanks, be it a smile or acknowledgment.

• You may grant the individual a token of favor or audience.

• You must not ever give the impression you would permit more than the wooing.

[Sinvy]

The Etiquette of Hand & Cheek Kissing

The Etiquette of Hand & Cheek Kissing

Men: Hand Kissing

• You may "kiss" the hand of a sera of greater rank if offered. This is respectful.

• You may "kiss" the hand of an equal if offered. This is simply sweet.

• You must never simply grab a woman's hand and kiss it. This is a matter of finesse.

• You must not touch the lips to the knuckles unless you are familiar with the sera.

• You may utter kindly words to the sera when holding her knuckles near your lips.

• If a sera offers her hand, it is expected you accept the gesture. It is not a hand shake.

• If you do touch your lips to the seras knuckles, please make sure it is a dry kiss.

• You must not linger upon the knuckles for more than a second or two.

Men: Cheek Kissing

• This is more for high ranked men and may be substituted with shoulder clasping.

• You must limit kisses to the same gender unless you are quite familiar with the sera.

• If you kiss the cheek of someone, you must not use the lips, but instead touch cheeks.

• You must not linger, instead limit it to a second or two.

• You must not engage in such in formal settings or with those of higher rank.

Women: Hand Kissing

• You must not offer your hand to just anyone. Use discretion and favor when doing this.

• If you offer your hand, after the "kiss", you should nod politely and withdraw your hand.

• If a ser accosts your hand, you may pull it back and let your offense be known - politely.

Women: Cheek Kissing

• This may be practiced by women of all ranks.

• You must limit kisses to the same gender unless you are quite familiar with the ser.

• You may either kiss the cheek with the lips or simply touch cheeks.

• You may kiss one or both cheeks, but only once each.

• You must not linger, limiting the exchange to one or two seconds.

• You must not engage in such in a formal settings or with those of higher rank.

All: Ring Kissing

• If you hold sufficient rank, you may bid your subordinates to kiss your ring or rings.

• If you are offered a hand in such a manner, it would be ill-advised to refuse.

• You must not linger upon the hand, ring or rings, limiting the show of respect to seconds.

[Sinvy]

*repinned to the top*

[Sinvy]

*repinned to the top*

[Arian]

Questions I have after reading your missive. I do apologize if these questions seem rather silly, I haven't been wooed in years:

1. What would you consider an example of a "humble gift" for wooing?
2. And similarly, what you would consider an example of a "token of favor" from the wooed to the wooer?
3. Finally, what would you consider an appropriate length of time that if you were being wooed you could start acknowledging the efforts of the person wooing you?
4. Can we find another word for "woo?"

Regards,


Arian
Master Engraver and Lead Apprentice to the Jewelers

[Sinvy]

*repinned with all the other missives to the top*

Dearest Arian,

Forgive my tardy reply! To answer your questions:

1. What would you consider an example of a "humble gift" for wooing?

A flower, small pot of flowers, short poems, simple, small pieces of jewelry or even just a gift of the individuals time. A short stroll perhaps or invitation to a social.

2. And similarly, what you would consider an example of a "token of favor" from the wooed to the wooer?

I would consider things such as handkerchiefs, ribbons or a lock of hair appropriate for tokens of favor. A coin as well perhaps, but this may not be suitable or attainable for romantic favor.

3. Finally, what would you consider an appropriate length of time that if you were being wooed you could start acknowledging the efforts of the person wooing you?

This would vary from person to person and may even be appropriate to vary by rank or situation. I would certainly not advise one to respond with a favor immediately to someone wooing. As with all relationships, even one of unattainable romantic love or admiration must be built up.

It's important to remember that this is the art of Fine Amour; romance without expectation.


4. Can we find another word for "woo?"

You could certainly find one you like, but for the purposes of education I shall maintain the term of woo. The other alternatives are for more relaxed company I would venture.



~ Mistress Sinvy