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Christmas: The After-math

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  • Christmas: The After-math

    Landfills across the country are now, or will be, groaning under the oppressive weight of discarded gift wrap and other evil packaging contraband today, the day after Christmas 2002. Soon the emaciated remains of coniferous trees will line suburban and urban curbsides alike; the lingering whispers of tinsel still clinging to the brittle needles and boughs of these veritably defeated yultide soldiers.

    The symbolic red-and-white clad ringleader of the spirit of capitalism has come and gone after having daunted many a bank account to fill carefully hung stockings -- the clever devil.

    My much-loathed family members queried me in regards to my Christmas wishes, to which I replied: "A breeding compound so that I might finally spawn my collection of worthy and devoted followers? If not that, then enough explosives to level the housing subdivisions that now stand where rolling hills of farm land once stretched? -- they are growing rather rampantly if you haven't noticed yet, and someone needs to do something about it, if not deter the bastards from building any further" (The Suburban Sprawl: one of my only, if not solitary, American anti-passions where the rest are merely anti-American passions).





    [A momentary pause so to emphasise the futility of the traditional question: "So Jessie, what do you want for Christmas?"]





    I received a talking Sponge Bob Square Pants doll, among other things, and a 100 dollar bill (from my father who appears to have developed a seasonal case of agoraphobia that rears its opportune head only between September and the beginning of January). The cash served as bittersweet respite, knowing that it, atleast, had not been wrapped in several square feet of gawdy paper.

    My plans for its expenditure include a pair of Abercrombie and Fitch's best jeans and some industrial-strength scissors:
    • 1.) Buy trendy and freakishly expensive jeans.
      2.) Find centermost point of the abhorrent store.
      3.) Stand stalwartly on centermost point.
      4.) Shout: "MERRY (expletive) CHRISTMAS TO ME!"
      5.) Defile trendy and freakishly expensive jeans with industrial-strength scissors.
      6.) Symbolically chuck the remains at frowning store personnel.
      -- Remember reproachful smirk.


    So. What did you receive this holiday season?
    "Four A.M. knows all my secrets."

  • #2
    Well, each year, my Grandfather in his wealth, wisdom, and laziness gives each grandchild a sixty dollar certificate from LL Bean, which my brother gave me his, so I got a seventy dollar wool sweater from Ireland, and another sweater, and some great rain pants...
    Then, actual christmas wise, well, a Rush DVD, the Chronicles, and a slinky, I liked the slinky, also a yo-yo.
    Top notch things..., really...
    And of course, the absolutely marvelous leather bound notebook/clipboard for classes... but I liked theclip board I made in the 7th grade and have been using to date in lectures...


    -Zeakk

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    • #3
      - A good pair of waterproof hiking boots in hoipes of getting me off this damned computer.
      - Two copies of: LotR: FotR, Lilo & Stitch, Spiderman and single copies of a bunch of other movies to try and get me off this damned computer.
      - Pretty knick-knacks so I can rearrange my already-stuffed shelves which would in turn keep me off this damned computer.

      - An antsy son and all of his presents.
      - A broken furnace and no less than 5 space heaters.
      - A nice little buzz from my new traditional Bahamian Eggnog (see Harvey Collins drink book, only $4ish.)
      To conquer without risk, is to succeed without glory

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      • #4
        Got an extra pair of scissors, Jess? Not that I'm doing it because of the wastefulness of capitalism, but because I hate Abercrombie and their 70 dollar pair of falsely faded jeans.


        Anyway, what I got:

        New computer, a day calendar with the art of Edward Gorey (which I will absolutely adore!), a bunch of gift certificates and some money.

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        • #5
          • "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho (book)
          • "5th Avenue" by Elizabeth Arden (perfume)
          • When Harry Met Sally (DVD)
          • Breakfast at Tiffany's (DVD)
          • "Fine Glitter Dust" by BarryM, in dark purple, indigo and white (it's sparkly eyeshadow really)
          • Two insanely twisted forks, an insanely twisted knife and and insanely twisted spoon (long story).
          • A jelly candle in a cocktail glass.
          • 6 rolls of colour film for my camera.
          • Black fishnet tights from 'Santa' ( ).

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          • #6
            Not a real Christmas person, but did get:

            3 bottles of quality Aussie Chardonnay (yummy)
            A rack to put said Chardonnay in.
            3 CD's
            A set of wine glasses for said Chardonnay to be drunk out of
            Some cooking oils and utensils
            and the ubiquitous record and book vouchers.

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            • #7
              From my mom & stepdad:
              -A seashell candle to match my bathroom theme
              -3 months of Marrach! (yay mom!)

              From my dad & stepmom:
              -A hundred and fifty dollars last month to help out Santa for my kids (since I'm having such a yucky poor year, blah)
              -A tool kit so that I might quit calling my dad to come over and fix things for me

              From one grandmother:
              -Twenty five dollars
              -A tin of yummy homemade cookies

              From the other grandmother:
              -The usual baby powder scent bath stuff that she's given me every single Christmas since I was 13 (*sigh* Grandmas never learn, do they?)

              All in all, a pretty good Christmas. Seeing my little boys on their best behavior and all sparkly eyed is always my favorite gift.

              Krysti

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              • #8
                Lets see... I'm having the same deal as Garrik...

                Downhill and cross-country skis to get me off the computer between Jan 1 and Jan 6th, ugh.
                Boots to go with them.

                Shoes (I guess my parents thought my mocassin slippers that have seen multiple Dagorhir battles were getting a bit too old and ratty)

                Lots of clothes... Ugh... Man, I wear the same clothes almost every day and was them sometimes... I don't need more... 1 pair of comfy pants and 5 hawaiian shirts... That's all I need... But I did get a cool fleece robe... *grins evilly*

                A car freshener.

                A snow shovel (it folds out hehe).

                Ski glasses which do me little to no good since without my glasses I'm blind and they're not prescription, but they look cool. (sigh)

                And by far the coolest present anyone has ever given me for Christmas comes from my girlfriend, who is officially a keeper. She got me..........yes........a FLAIL. hehe Freakin' scary looking thing too... 2-1lb solid steel spiked balls attached to the haft by steel chain. You could seriously do some damage to platemail with this thing... hehehehehehehe
                And she's a keeper cause, well, anyone who buys you a weapon of destruction for X-mas and his happy you bought them a dagger, definitely a keeper... hehehehe

                ~Janwin

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                • #9
                  You go Janny
                  Fight the powers! Stay on the computer!

                  Want some Eggnog? heehee
                  To conquer without risk, is to succeed without glory

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                  • #10
                    Actually, yes... I didn't get any eggnog this year...

                    Freakin' vegan parents. Freakin' SOY eggnog. Ugh.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Bah, Christmas...

                      I beat you all. While I made the effort to save enough money and bought gifts to my parents and my brother, all I received was a hug from my bro, a look of indifference from my father, and the usual reproacheful feelings from my mother, with the ever present annual hard-to-reconstruct-ego crushing.

                      At least I got the hug. And the remaining cat at least somewhat loves me.

                      And my parents wonders why I prefer to spend as much time as possible away from them, and why I prefer the company of cats to human beings. *shakes her head* Pathetic.

                      Edit: Oh, by the way, I just want to make it clear that it was certainly not an attempt to get attention or ask for sympathy, nor an attack to destroy your happy feelings and stuff. I'm glad all of you guys had a nice Christmas. It was only little me being gloomy and venting my frustration. That actually made me feel better.

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                      • #12
                        Sorry Gabs, wanna hug? Or some Bahamian Eggnog?

                        (*sends Janwin some bahamian eggnog via email*)
                        I've still got plenty, and it's only probably about 60-70 proof.
                        To conquer without risk, is to succeed without glory

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                        • #13
                          Poor Umi... *gives Umi a hug and lets her bash things with his flail to relieve anger*

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                          • #14
                            Alright, I received:

                            *An awesome stuffed Eeyore from my best friend (Gabriela's player)
                            *dishes for my dorm next year
                            *A hot pot for my dorm next year
                            *a bunch of shirts and sweaters
                            *tools (yes I did say tools, my sis bought them for me because they are the strange odds and ends that I will need next year in my dorm, things you wouldn't think of buying)
                            *A pizza tray and pizza cutter
                            *A dream journal

                            And there were a few other things, but i don't remember

                            ~*~Jamie~*~
                            ~*~Abagail Galanodel~*~
                            ~*~ Yeoman of the Royal Guard~*~
                            ~*~ Honored Guest~*~

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                            • #15
                              Sorry Umi.... I don't even have any weapons for you to play with, except the set of kitchen knives I got from my parents.

                              And it was pretty boring, as far as the family presents go - money and kitchen stuff (which, to be fair, was what I asked for).
                              I haven't really exchanged presents with friends yet though and that's usually more fun. So far I've gotten cookies and a really cool-looking toddler toy. (And yes, I am still trying to decide the intent behind that present......)

                              *sends baking and hugs to Umi*

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