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Funny Moments Of Marrach

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  • PaladinHeart
    replied
    "The Night I Served a Codpiece" by Hildegard Helmsdottir

    I got to see a Knight one night; a Knight one night, new made.
    I helped him take his clothes off in a cool and secret glade.
    Now this is not a raunchy poem, no epic of disgrace;
    It all was ceremonial; no uncouth deeds took place.

    We all went to the chapel, where the good Knight, he was dubbed
    All clad in his new Knightly clothes, his body freshly scrubbed.
    And after cheering loudly, to the Great Hall we retired
    Where Nobles, Knights and Commoners this new Knight all admired.

    Now, I'm a lowly commoner; no high-bred noble lass.
    I was supposed to serve the drinks, but couldn't find a glass.
    Of course, it was the magic I'd forgotten from my fears.
    Just tilt the bottle, and, aha! A champagne flute appears!

    A Lady wanted Cognac, and I dutifully tried,
    But after reading labels, nothing suitable I spied.
    Instead I poured her brandy, which she graciously received.
    A friend began to help me out, at which I was relieved.

    Eventually, I relaxed, and listened to the chatter.
    I was completely unaware of just what was the matter,
    Until I checked my armload; "Gee, it's heavy!" was my thought.
    And then I knew my night of fun was very dearly bought.

    There in my arms the bounty lay, between my glass and bottle.
    I wished that I could disappear, or else myself to throttle.
    All through the night, I'd carried safe a mound of fine apparel.
    For something to poke fun at, I was fish now in a barrel.

    For over all, the crowning item, was the codpiece fine
    Belonging to that new made Knight; for sure, it wasn't mine!
    My eyes went wide, my stomach churned, my face grew very hot.
    (You see, by now it's funny; in that moment, it was not.)

    I'm sure the Nobles were amused when my mistake they spied.
    Most gallantly they did not laugh; to hide their mirth they tried.
    I quick approached a messenger and got from him a pack
    To mail the clothing to the Knight I knew would want it back.

    That codpiece was the first I chose to hide from Nobles' sight.
    The hose were quick to follow, and I'd lessened some my plight.
    So piece by piece, I put it all into that package kind.
    My error now was gone from sight, but not, so much, from mind.

    I gradually lost my shame and stayed there for a while.
    I talked and listened, laughed and cheered, for over was my Trial.
    I hope, if it's remembered long, my Honor bears no stain
    Because of that one night I served a codpiece with champagne.

    Leave a comment:


  • Taite
    replied
    LOL Halvard. Love this ^^

    Leave a comment:


  • Halvard
    replied
    The saga continues...

    A short courier gives two natural packages to you.
    > read my first package
    You read your natural paper package.
    It is addressed to Halvard.
    There is nothing written on it.
    > read my second package
    You read your natural paper package.
    It is addressed to Halvard.
    It says:

    Open me.
    It is unsigned.
    > l my first package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is closed.
    > l my second package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is closed.
    > open my first package
    You open your natural paper package.
    > l my first package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is open. It contains two candied eyeballs.
    > open my second package
    You open your natural paper package.
    > l my second package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is open. It contains a poplin gift bag.
    > exa my first package's first eyeball
    You begin to examine your candied eyeball.
    A piece of candy that looks like an eyeball...well, it's probably candy, anyway.
    > exa my second package's bag
    You begin to examine your poplin gift bag.
    A poplin gift bag neatly fitted. This is a bag ideal for gifts and other smaller trinkets. It closes with a drawstring. You note the professional mark of Master Adept Tailor Cordelia. Your poplin gift bag is closed.
    > take bag from my second package
    You take a poplin gift bag from your natural paper package.
    > open my bag
    You open your poplin gift bag.
    > l my bag
    A poplin gift bag neatly fitted. Your poplin gift bag is open. It contains a paper gift box.
    > take box from my bag
    You take a paper gift box from your poplin gift bag.
    > l my box
    A paper gift box. Your paper gift box is closed.
    > open my box
    You open your paper gift box.
    > l my box
    A paper gift box. Your paper gift box is open. It contains a natural paper package.
    > take package from my box
    You take a natural paper package from your paper gift box.
    > open my package
    You must choose one of your three natural packages.
    > l my first package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is closed.
    > open my first package
    You open your natural paper package.
    > l my first package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is open. It contains a scroll, a white chocolate champagne truffle, a gold marbled white chocolate mint truffle and a white chocolate port truffle.
    > read my first package's scroll
    You read your scroll.
    It says:

    Got you.
    It is signed by Aratan.

    Leave a comment:


  • Yolanda
    replied
    A fat male servant jumps from the barn door and screams in glee all the way down to a huge haypile.

    Leave a comment:


  • Taite
    replied
    The first time I hear a full sentence in teanga....



    A short cook points away in Teanga, "Beet it!"



    Geoffry would be proud.

    Leave a comment:


  • Charmiam
    replied
    You share your opinion easily with Aratan in Northern, "I can nay speak for Sir Pete, but I found it pleasant as always. We spoke in Western about the trees and the leaves and the bird dong."

    You cough in Northern, "The bird song."

    OOC -- Aratan says, "bird dong"

    OOC -- You say, "shh"

    OOC -- Aratan says, "pete explaining all about duck junk"

    OOC -- You say, "stop, you are making me snort"

    OOC -- Aratan says, "Thet ert woigh it have a cork-screw to get, sorta loik a spring."
    OOC -- Aratan says, "* to get"
    OOC -- Aratan says, "lmao my macros won't let me type 'get"
    OOC -- Aratan says, "OH MY GOT"

    Aratan curves his thin lips pleasantly at your words, "That is good, at least."

    Soft squeaks are heard from the nearby brush.

    OOC -- You say, "that's going on Funny Moments."
    OOC -- Aratan says, "noooooooooo"

    OOC -- You say, "If it makes me gigglesnort, it's going on."

    Leave a comment:


  • Taite
    replied
    That wasn't Taite, but that is a kind of prank I would pull on my family.

    Reading it, I was like HAHAHA.

    Now, I want to know who sent that to Halvard.

    Leave a comment:


  • Halvard
    replied
    For those of you familiar with Hal's current package predicament...

    Got another two packages rushing back for Boreas' bells, didn't check them until afterwards.

    > l first package
    A natural paper package. A natural paper package is open. It contains a silvery white snowflake-shaped origami paper.
    > take paper from first package
    You take a silvery white snowflake-shaped origami paper from a natural paper package.
    > exa my paper
    You begin to examine your silvery white snowflake-shaped origami paper.
    A delicate, hexagonal prism with simple, diamondesque spaces cut out of its body. Six decorative branches fragilely bud from the internal circumference of the piece, each irregular and unique. It has been dyed silvery white.
    > read my paper
    Your silvery white snowflake-shaped origami paper bears no inscription.
    > l second package
    A natural paper package. A natural paper package is closed.
    > open second package
    You move from a black leather pouch to a natural paper package.
    You open a natural paper package.
    > l second package
    A natural paper package. A natural paper package is open. It contains a natural paper package.

    > take package from second package
    You take a natural paper package.
    > read my package
    You read your natural paper package.
    It is addressed to Halvard.
    There is nothing written on it.
    > l my package
    A natural paper package. Your natural paper package is open. It contains a natural paper package.

    --------

    Whoever did this, I laughed out loud and I also hate you.

    Leave a comment:


  • PaladinHeart
    replied
    ~AFK HRH Ambush, Part Two!~

    OOC -- You say, "brb; gotta put a sweater on"

    You move from the elegant southernmost bench to the western descending stairs.
    You begin to enter the western descending stairs.
    You carefully step onto the marble stairs, and descend toward the Outer Bailey.
    The western section of the Grand Bridge. Taite is standing near here. You are standing near the marble stairs ascending eastward.

    OOC -- You will be away from your keyboard.

    You begin to enter the marble stairs ascending eastward.
    You carefully step onto the marble stairs, and climb toward the middle landing.
    An oval-shaped landing in the center of the bridge. A sleek golden Treasury contraption is standing next to a dark marble column. A bald guard is standing near the eastern ascending stairs. Corporal Alexandr and you are standing near the western descending stairs. A bulletin board on an easel is standing in front of the brass railing along the low north wall. Halvard is standing in front of a bulletin board on an easel. Ibar and Prince Bertram are standing near a bulletin board on an easel. A short courier is standing next to a bulletin board on an easel.

    OOC -- You say, "Back."

    You move from the western descending stairs to the elegant southernmost bench.

    OOC -- Halvard says to you, "What is it with you afking and Bertram turning up?"

    OOC -- You say, "HAHAHAHAHA"

    You kneel down quickly.

    Ibar impressively regards Prince Bertram's stag horn cane, "A magnificent work of art, Highness. I thank you for the opportunity."

    OOC -- Prince Bertram says, "Just drawn to her idleness."

    Prince Bertram chuckles faintly at Ibar, "You're welcome."

    OOC -- You say, "lmao"

    Prince Bertram twists his stag horn cane.
    Prince Bertram slides a rapier out from his stag horn cane.

    OOC -- Halvard says to you, "Every time you AFK from now on I'm just going to have Hal pre-emptively kneel."

    Prince Bertram turns his dark steel rapier poisedly toward the pale marble floor, "Unfortunately, non magical."

    Ibar blinks.
    Ibar backsteps instinctively.

    OOC -- You say, "lol"

    Leave a comment:


  • Aratan
    replied
    Trauma accomplished!

    Leave a comment:


  • PaladinHeart
    replied
    ~When you need a quiet corner for a pre-Army-practice-bathroom-break, and you think you're safe, but you're not!~

    You are standing near the corner turning northwest.

    > @afk
    OOC -- You will be away from your keyboard.

    Aratan arrives through the corner turning northwest.
    Prince Bertram arrives through the corner turning northwest.
    OOC -- Prince Bertram says to Aratan, "Or we can traumatize Hilde."
    Aratan strolls familiarly through the south stretch of the corridor.
    OOC -- Aratan says to you, "Boo!"
    Aratan notes you.
    Prince Bertram inclines his head to you, "Sera Hildegard."
    Aratan dips his head to you also.

    Prince Bertram moves from the corner turning northwest to the south door.
    Prince Bertram steps to the south door with his stag horn cane.
    Aratan moves from the corner turning northwest to the south door.
    Prince Bertram runs his fingertips down the south door.
    Aratan steps to the south door.
    The door unlocks at the Prince's touch.
    Aratan begins to examine the south door.
    Prince Bertram opens the south door.
    Prince Bertram leaves through the south door.
    Aratan leaves through the south door.

    Aratan arrives through the south door.
    Prince Bertram arrives through the south door.
    Aratan closes the south door.
    Prince Bertram touches the south door briefly.
    There is a click from the south door.
    Prince Bertram nods anew to you.
    Aratan dips his head to you.
    Aratan continues onwardly.
    Aratan moves from the south door to the corner turning northwest.
    Aratan leaves through the corner turning northwest.
    Prince Bertram moves from the south door to the corner turning northwest.
    Prince Bertram leaves through the corner turning northwest.

    *I return to my computer*

    .....

    Oh... My gosh... I missed the Prince! And I didn't kneel!! Aaaaaaaah!!! *headdesk*
    Last edited by PaladinHeart; 10-09-2019, 08:14 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Charmiam
    replied
    (PB and entourage are on the way to the Queen's house before Court)

    Prince Bertram rings a white-gold bell in a purpleheart frame. A melodious ringing is heard from the bell.

    OOC -- Prince Bertram says, "Oops"
    OOC -- Prince Bertram says, "WRONG HOUSE"
    OOC -- Prince Bertram says, "SORRY DAD"
    Prince Bertram moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Prince Bertram leaves through the upper steps.
    Aratan moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Bauh moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Sir Alrik moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Tristana moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    You move from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Aratan leaves through the upper steps.
    You begin to enter the upper steps.
    Josie moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Bauh leaves through the upper steps.
    Gareth moves from the lower steps to the upper steps.
    Sir Alrik masculinely strides out through the upper steps.
    Tristana leaves through the upper steps.
    You climb up the white marble steps.

    Prince Bertram runs away.
    The top of a tall thin tower with a spiraling staircase of white marble.

    You, Prince Bertram, Sir Alrik, Tristana, Bauh and Aratan are standing near the steps leading down. A scarred guard is standing next to the southwest door. A platinum frame is hanging on the tower wall. A white-gold bell is hanging on a platinum frame.

    Josie arrives through the steps leading down.
    Gareth arrives through the steps leading down.
    OOC -- Gareth says, "Run!"
    OOC -- Prince Bertram says, "Ding dong ditch"
    > @ooc '*giggles*
    OOC -- You say, "*giggles*"
    OOC -- Bauh says, "Bertram just did ding -"
    OOC -- Bauh says, " AND STOLE MY JOKE"
    OOC -- Aratan says, "we forgot the flaming bag of poo"
    OOC -- Tristana says, "no candy for you"
    Gareth widens his unforgettable sharp blue eyes.
    Gareth impishly considers Prince Bertram.
    > l bell
    A delicate white-gold bell, engraved with snowflakes.
    OOC -- Gareth says, "Man I am laughing so hard that cat is wondering what's up."

    Leave a comment:


  • Kona
    replied
    ~Don't be late to Tine's bells or else~

    You curtsy neatly.

    You furrow your smooth forehead to Tine apologetically, "Sorry, I-i overslept."

    You hum to Tine soft-spokenly. "Are y-you heading to the duel? It's in h-half a bell right?"

    Tine puts her frost glassine folder in her small black velveteen bag.

    Tine approaches the iron door.

    Tine leaves through the iron door.

    The iron door closes.

    There is a click from the iron door.

    > go north
    The iron door is closed.

    > open iron door
    You cannot open the iron door; it's locked.

    You sigh flatly. to yourself. "At l-least she left the cake."

    Leave a comment:


  • Ra'Dorcha
    replied
    A short courier groans, in Teanga, "I must deliver this missive to Master Sansamor."
    Edstave unfortunately reports to a short courier in Northern, "She's been asleep six years."



    Apparently he saw Catharsis. Tristana saw Anslem and Ezraella saw Heulyn.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kona
    replied
    ~Those weren't innuendos, sausages are delicious, you have a dirty mind~


    Diana considers her red sausage, "We used to duel with these..."

    Diana confidently grips her red sausage.

    Diana faces Gareth thus with her red sausage.

    Fangen grunts at Diana encouragingly.

    Fangen grunts blindly.

    You shortly ponder Diana's red sausage.

    Diana nearly chokes at your expression.

    You murmur to Diana about Diana's red sausage, "Nobody likes a-a small sausage."

    You deadpan to Diana, "Bigger is b-better."

    You add to your words, "More meat."

    Diana heats her high cheeks further, "No. No... one could not have that."

    Diana gazes at her red sausage.

    Diana notes Fangen's expression.

    Diana deliberately avoids Gareth with her striking pale celestine eyes.

    Diana stares at her red sausage again.

    You retract your words almost, "Small sausages c-an still be tasty...they always leave m-me wanting another however."

    Diana shakes her shoulders helplessly, "Oh bloody Nine Hells..."

    Gareth keeps his words to himself.

    Diana bites her full rose petal lower lip hard.

    You slip from a bar stool, "I-i think I'll get myself one."

    You hungrily rub your belly.

    You curtsy politely.

    Diana difficultly struggles with her expression.

    *Grabs two sausages from cooks*

    You wiggle your two red sausages happily, "Two i-is better than one."

    Diana gasps at you, "Two! How daring!"

    You grin wildly.

    Diana chokes laughingly.

    Diana politely coughs into her slender right hand.

    You move from the swinging kitchen door to a bar stool.

    You plop on a bar stool once-again.

    Diana veils her pale statuesque face with her silken scarlet hair desperately.

    Gareth officially ignores Diana and you.

    Diana murmurs to Gareth about Fangen and her sausage "Was... a gift."

    You enjoy your two red sausages high-spiritedly.

    Diana struggles still with her red sausage.

    You dub your two red sausages simply, "Yummy."

    Diana shakes her head at you, "Gods. I am going to choke upon the gift."

    You innocently keep your demeanor and your two red sausages.

    You blink at Diana naively, "What?"

    You hungrily chomp your red sausage.

    Diana tears helplessly from her striking pale celestine eyes, "I am -attempting- to show graciousness and consume it."
    Last edited by Kona; 09-20-2019, 12:59 PM.

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