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  • Romantic Relationship Stages IG

    General Courtesy Guidelines

    A couple should never (at any stage in courtship) behave in a way that makes those around them uncomfortable.
    If others in the room seem disturbed by any displays of affection, the couple should take their interactions somewhere more private to avoid causing discomfort to others. Note that differing degrees of affection may be appropriate in different company, as some folk are more or less sensitive to embarrassment. It should be ever remembered that proper courtesy requires consideration for the comfort of others.

    Some find all public displays of affection beyond hand-holding and chaste kissing to be improper, while others are less strict. Those who look to Newtown inhabitants for guidance will notice that nobles are rarely seen exhibiting public affection beyond that which is most chaste and gallant. Therefore, if you wish to favorably impress those above you in station, you may wish to behave more discreetly than otherwise.

    It is courteous throughout courtship to offer small gifts, including but not limited to flowers, poetry, drawings, and jewelry. In giving gifts, one should consider the receiver and what would please him or her. It is also courteous to make thoughtful arrangements for romantic meetings, including but not limited to dancing and picnics.

    The Stages of Courtship
    Friendship (at least one week)
    At this stage, the parties involved might progress from referring to each other by the formal 'mister' and 'miss' to the more intimate usage of each other's first names. Both parties should respectfully use this time to become well enough acquainted to know whether they might wish to become more than just friends.

    Pressing suit (at least one week)
    At this stage, the parties involved may (or may not) publicly display their affection by holding hands or hugging. Couples who kiss at this stage should only do so privately. Also at this stage, the female might allow more than one suitor, and the male might press suit to more than one woman ... as long as both parties are honest with all involved so that no feelings are hurt. The parties should use this time to become well enough acquainted to know whether they wish to pursue an exclusive courtship arrangement.

    Courting (at least four weeks)
    At this stage, the couple agree to court exclusively, admitting no other suitors as long as the courting is in effect. If one chooses another suitor, they should officially end the courting before doing so. Courting couples may choose to kiss in public, though again they should be careful to avoid causing discomfort to other folk around them. The couple uses this time in exclusive courtship to learn whether they are well enough suited to wish to pursue the path toward marriage, that they might respect the solemnity of that path by not rushing to it hastily. Courtship should be declared publicly upon the local boards so that all are of the knowledge of the commitment the two individuals have toward one another.

    Betrothal (at least 8 weeks)
    At this stage, a couple begins the path toward marriage, under the advisement of a church official. To break a betrothal is like unto breaking an oath, and so betrothal should be entered into only with great seriousness and certainty. Betrothal should be declared publicly upon the local boards so that all are aware of the continued commitment the two individuals have toward one another, and are able to assist in planning with the marriage ceremony itself if requested/desired. It also allows ample time for gift purchasing.

    Marriage
    When a couple has completed the entire wedding process with the guidance of the Church, they are married.

    Ending Courtship
    If a couple is in the stage of pressing suit, and one party wishes to end the suit, they may do so quite informally, though they should endeavor to inform the other party.

    If a couple is in the stage of formal courting, and one party wishes to end the courting, they should inform the other party in person if at all possible. If one party is absent with no significant contact for one month, the courtship may (but need not necessarily) be considered to be ended, though the remaining party may wish to send a scroll to this effect, in case of the return of the other. After ending formal courting, a courteous person ideally waits at least two weeks before entering another formal courting arrangement, though this depends heavily upon circumstances.

    If a couple is in the stage of betrothal, and one party wishes to end the betrothal, such should be done with great solemnity. As stated above, to break a betrothal is like unto breaking an oath. This should be done in person if at all possible, though if one party is absent with no significant contact for one month, the betrothal may (but need not necessarily) be considered to be ended, though the remaining party should send a scroll to this effect. After ending a betrothal, a courteous person ideally waits at least one month before entering a new formal courting arrangement -- out of respect for the solemnity of the ended relationship -- though this depends to some extent upon circumstances.

    Those who are gentry or Nobility in the game especially should adhere to these rules. Church officials should -not- marry people of these ranks unless they have followed the proper steps set forth by society, including speaking with a church official. If no church officials are present in game for consultation, staff may bring a VP/NPC priest down to help guide you further.
    StoryBuilder Nyx

  • #2
    To clarify the ending of a marriage, betrothal or otherwise;

    There has been some confusion lately about how these things work when a player goes absent, deletes or stops playing and I know the information is scattered around in a few locations so I thought I would post a refresher for everyone.

    The general rule of thumb for these scenarios is as follows;

    If your character's partner is absent for one month and does not reply to a scroll, forum post or in character search for the character, the character can be presumed dead, if and only if the account is also inactive for that time. (If someone is still playing Alts or otherwise active in the skotos community, these rules do not apply)

    At this point, you are free to assume that the character is dead and thus you are widowed (or the betrothal is cancelled) and you would begin a mourning period of a month before it would be socially acceptable to begin a new courtship.

    At no point should you spread a story about the character being dead and the subsequent how, why or where without explicit consent from the player of that character.

    Hope this clears things up! As always, feel free to @assist with any questions or concerns.

    XO
    Topsy!!

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    • #3
      http://forum.skotos.net/forum/our-ga...uidelines-2016


      Rules have been updated about when a marriage is considered dissolved.

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