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Swordcat Ad-Libs: 6/28/17 at 9:30pm Eastern

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  • Swordcat Ad-Libs: 6/28/17 at 9:30pm Eastern

    Join us at the Swordcat Lounge for some nonsensical word games. Cover charge of 150 denars for all you can eat and drink.

    Questions? Ask for Kyrah.

    DIRECTIONS TO THE SWORDCAT:
    The Swordcat is a private lounge in the Sandbar district of Iridine. From Ylsa's leather shop, follow the road south as it winds toward the Temple of the Morning. Take the first street to your west and continue down the tidy lane, past the shrine and wine shop. The street will dead-end at a garden plaza with a well, where Harbor Road meets Center Road. Head south to South Road, a short walk. The Swordcat is a few paces east on South Road, on the south side with an engraved door.

  • #2
    Holy crap, that was hilarious. Thank you to everyone who came, and Velger and Dera for helping write Mad Lib-style stories. Here are the results:
    • On a particularly wet day in Iridine, Ulath walked underneath the ancient bridge near the edge of Vetallun where you can smell the scent of blueberry pies and the waters slosh by you carrying the suds from the daily washing in order to passionately arbitrate with an Invexian he found there.

      "Come on!" He said. "If we don't hurry up and arbitrate while we can, Legionary Iosaerius may come here with a small cadae adorned with the image of the most beautiful woman in the whole world and hit us right in our big smiles with it until we are simply glowing."

      Having been convinced, they both dimly jumped on a wall hanging that depicts horses running to their death over a cliff into the sea, and arbitrated until they were in high spirits about their accomplishment. So they screamed down the road with pep in their step until running into Legionary Iosaerius who was climbing a keg with Neithan out in the open streets. What a shock to the system! And to think they ever feared Legionary Iosaerius' wrath!

      .
    • When I found out that Parlin and Iskibelle had become an amorous couple, I was waiting to hear news of a wedding!

      And then the announcement finally came on the back of a turtle written in yellow ink on the Oracle complete with an accompanying song lilted by a Nehal with five-and-seven eighths teeth in his mouth.

      I just knew Dera and I had to join them at the apple tree outside of the Hospice to eat the cucumbers and drink the urine until the stinky nuptials were completed with a belly dance by Amu. Oh, if you had only seen the way her wenis jiggled and swayed to the music! What an affair! Here's to wishing them 6 years of copious waggling that will surely result in 900 kids!

      .
    • Lyke, a frisky belly-dancer, was guzzling down the road one day when he stumbled upon a sweaty beetle brain by a large boulder on the side of the road. This beetle brain was making quite a ruckus! It kept shouting, over and over, that someone had kidnapped its friend, a bacon pie.

      Frantic, the beetle brain began waving its itchy boobs in the air, shouting, "Call for Constable Gryz! He will know what to do! I would do it ... but I'm beetle brains and can't think out loud." Lyke began to think out stunningly, requesting for Gryz to awaken. He was pointing in circles around the panicking beetle brains when there was a HOOT! Lyke was hit in the eyelid by the beetle brain's flailing boobs!

      The collision caused the moist man and sugary beetle brains to fall to the ground in a heap behind the boulder. When Lyke stood up and clumsily looked by the boulder, he saw the bacon pie. The man paused, and listened to his erect belly. Without hesitation, he grabbed and daringly devoured the pie. The beetle brain gave him a sticky look, and the man responded: "What? There's nothing better than pie."

      .
    • It was a boring, scandalous day, so Kyrah and Septima decided it was time for a more slippery activity. They had heard of an animal fighting ring in Basran Hill and headed that way for a little excitement. The ring was a stinky place, with 14,647 animals waiting for a fight. The first matchup was between a eurofera and rat. The eurofera burst into the ring, slowly running and waving its penis.

      Kyrah and Septima waited patiently for the rat to enter the ring, but they began to hear a fart from the crowd. Something was wrong. Suddenly, the rat flopped into the stands. It began dancing with people, with calves flying everywhere. Kyrah briskly grabbed Septima’s hand. They shared a ominous look, knowing this was likely the end.

      Filled with horniness, Kyrah leaned over to Septima and strenuously whispered her final words: "I'm glad I can run faster than you."
    Last edited by GinaDana; 06-28-2017, 09:21 PM.

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    • #3
      "...with calves flying everywhere" is my favorite part.
      No time for this - there are artifacts to find!

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      • #4
        I would like to point out that Neithan would never climb a keg in the open streets. That is a strictly private activity.

        Sorry I missed it, sounds like it was a blast.

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        • #5
          Someone who was present should write the stories down in a codex or a few scrolls and put it in the library.
          Don't tread on me.

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