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Funny moments in Alpha Colony

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  • Funny moments in Alpha Colony

    I was uh...testing something...

    ---------------------------------------------

    You regain consciousness.

    You blink twice.

    You groan.

    You cough painfully.

    You sit up upward.

    You peer at your electric pulse rifle, "Hell happened?"
    Bell peeks at you worriedly, "That's what you get for laying on the floor."
    shoot me
    [Roll: 86/30] A loud pulsating sound can be heard as you shoot Dannik with your rifle.
    Electricity flows throughout your body as you are hit by a streaming pulse. A slight sizzling sound emanates from within as your flesh begins to burn.
    You lose consciousness.
    Bell blinks.
    You will be unconscious for an estimated time of 10 minutes.
    Bell slowly gapes at you.
    Bell closes her tiny mouth eventually.
    Bell smiles obliviously to herself, "He must be really tired."

    Chance peeks at you.
    Bell smiles warmly to Chance, "He fell asleep."
    Bell beams vibrantly to Chance, "How're you doing?"
    Chance nods at Bell, "Oh. Why is he not in his apartment then?"
    You regain consciousness.
    Chance moves from an elevator panel to a sofa.
    Chance wanders to a sofa.

    You flutter your sharp deep green eyes openly.
    Chance glances at you.

    You cough painfully, "Damnit!"
    Bell smiles softly to you, "On the couch next time."
    Bell pats a sofa.
    Chance asks you, "What does dammit mean?"
    Chance sits down on a sofa.

    You mumble angrily.
    Bell smiles helplessly to Chance, "How have you been?"

    You explain to Chance, "It means I got shot in the face."
    Chance wrinkles her high forehead at you, "Have you received medical attantion?"
    Chance turns her bright honey brown eyes to Bell, "Confused, mostly. And yourself?"
    Bell's teddy bear rubs its eyes and yawns.

    You blink at Chance, "What do you think? I woke up and you were here!"
    Bell smiles vibrantly to Chance, "Just great."
    Chance stands up then.
    You allow Chance to step Dannik.
    Chance approaches Dannik.
    Chance steps to you.
    Chance reaches downwardly.

    Chance crouches down near you.
    Bell peeks at your bloody wound.
    Bell wrinkles her thin nose.
    Chance curls her arms under your armpits and your legs.
    Chance lifts you effortfully.

    You stumble to your feet.

    You stand up slowly.

    Chance allows you to lean her.
    You approach Chance.
    You lean against Chance heavily.
    Bell smiles lightly to you, "You should go get healed."
    Chance shifts your body and her body again.
    Chance totes you over her right shoulder.
    Chance tells Bell, "We shall return."

    You will now follow Chance.
    To stop following, type: follow nobody

    You stare at Chance's derriere helplessly.

    Chance calls, "If you want to."
    You allow Chance to carry Dannik.
    Chance moves from a bank of tinted glass doors to Dannik.
    Chance carries you northwardly.

    You murmur to Chance's derriere, "You -can- put me down. Although the view is nice."


    Chance responds, "You are requiring transportation."

    [walking]

    You allow Chance to carry Dannik.
    Chance moves from a short hallway to Dannik.
    Chance carries you to a treatment station.

    Chance lowers you into a treatment station.

    You move from a short hallway to a treatment station.
    You enter a treatment station. A soft electronic voice emanates from within, 'Prepare for full body scanning.'

    A soft yellow light flashes from within the chamber, then a horizontal beam quickly moves across your entire body.
    'Scan reveals that you are 10% healthy.'

    'If you wish to receive a treatment, please close the capsule dome. Treatment cost shall be deducted from your account automatically. Cost: 45 credits.'

    You close a treatment station.
    A soft red light flashes from within the chamber, then a horizontal beam quickly moves across your entire body.

    Several mechanical arms extend from within the capsule; they poke and prod your body at random locations. A small suturing device seals your wounds with a silicone adhesive.

    An electronic voice from within the capsule states, 'Treatment complete. 45 credits have been deducted from your account. Have a productive day, Citizen Dannik.'
    A treatment station opens.

    Bell moves from a short hallway to a treatment station.
    Bell closes a treatment station.
    A treatment station opens.
    Chance tilts her head at you, "Are you repaired now?"
    Bell stands up.
    Chance moves from a short hallway to a treatment station.

    You nod mumblingly to Chance.
    --Thomas King--Lucius--
    "Well I Ain't Evil, I'm Just Good Lookin' "
    Alice Cooper
    "This Is Beetle, Is As Bad As Can"
    Beetlejuice
    "It takes guts to run away, you know. Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough"
    Rincewind

  • #2
    Allright. Basically all you need to know is that earlier on Chance spend a lot of time making Cypher fairly intimate with her breasts, much to his discomfort

    And the scene begins-

    You glance at Chance's breasts quickly.
    You look back to your rifle quickly
    Dannik notes your gaze thoughtfully.
    Dannik remains silent.
    You say, "So....allright."
    You raise your electric pulse rifle.
    Charn tilts his head aside at you.
    You say, "I'm gonna spend some time ..."
    OOC -- You say, "Oh man I can't even say it.. It's just too wrong right now"
    OOC -- You say, "Oh man"
    Dannik asks you curiously, "Some time...?"
    OOC -- Charn curiously says, "...say it"
    You say, "I'm gonna spend some time playing with my rifle."
    OOC -- You say, "Swear to GOD that it's just what I was gonna type"
    OOC -- Charn says, "*laughs*"
    You spin your electric pulse rifle demonstrably.
    Dannik nods to you then, "Be sure to keep it clean, don't want it to blow when it fires."
    OOC -- Chance says, "OMG"
    OOC -- You say, "AHHHH!!! ROFL!!"
    OOC -- Charn says, "*dies*"
    OOC -- Dannik says, "*eyeshift*"
    GREENSKINS - First and only

    Comment


    • #3
      Here is the breast part, from the view of Chance.

      Cypher asks Bell, "So do you know what we're doing here?"
      Cypher asks you, "So do you think you could explain it better or should I."
      Bell beams vibrantly, "Shopping!"
      You tell Bell, "I need clothes that are .... less clothes than what I am wearing." You hug Bell belatedly.
      Bell peeks at you.
      Cypher tells Bell, "Translation. She wants to look as sexy as humanly possible.
      You gesture Cypher, "What he said." Bell smiles helplessly to Cypher, "There can only be one me."
      Bell wonders thoughtfully, "But I can see what I can do."
      Cypher says, "She wants to make herself irresistable, and you are going to help."
      You glance at Bell, "I do not like pink." Cypher says, "Good. Do that."
      Bell smiles helplessly to you."
      Bell smiles lightly to you, "You should get rid of those pants for a start, and go for something more conventional. A jumpsuit."
      You glance at Cypher.
      Cypher shrugs.
      You ask Cypher, "You said more skin?" Cypher says, "Generally yeah."
      Bell smiles warmly to you, "Pants only look good on women with hips."
      Bell smiles obliviously, "Okay, in we go."
      Bell peeks at you smilingly, "What did you have in mind?"
      Bell peeks at a thin white shirt and a thin black shirt.
      You shrug unknowingly at Bell, "I do not know what is considered sexy."
      You tell Cypher, "You will have to tell us if you think it is sexy too."
      Bell asks you wonderingly, "If this was a few sizes smaller, how would that be?"
      Cypher nods to you once.
      You shrug at Bell, "Tight?"
      Cypher feels oddly.
      Bell smiles vibrantly to you, "Great. Tight shirts are sexy."
      Bell smiles obliviously to you, "Sometimes if they're too tight it's hard to breath but people look at you for some reason."
      Bell wonders helplessly.
      Bell peeks at you.
      Bell smiles unsurely to you, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
      You glance at Cypher first.
      You then nod to Bell.
      Cypher mentions, "Is there any way to make her....bigger."
      Bell smiles lightly to you, "You don't sound like it."
      Cypher gestures to your torso.
      You ask Cypher unsurely, "Make what bigger?"
      Bell compares her breasts with your breasts smilingly, "A tight shirt could help, but I guess the Hatchery doesn't bless some people."
      Bell wonders helplessly.
      Cypher tells you, "Your breasts. They're small. If we could make them look bigger that might be good."
      You peer downwardly at your breasts. You lift your hands to your breasts.
      You push your breasts upward.
      You consideringly shift your breasts. Cypher nods consideringly.
      Chance manhandles her own breasts in a naive attempt to make them appear larger.
      You release your breasts
      You note your breasts. You lift your breasts again.
      You consider.
      You reach to Cypher's strong hands. You press Cypher's strong hands against your breasts too.
      You release your breasts, "I just need someone else's hands."
      Cypher watches you silently.
      Cypher holds your breasts silently. Cypher closes his bright green eyes. You tell Bell sidewardly, "I do not think that either holding my own breasts or having someone else hold my breasts would be thought of as sexy."
      Cypher thinks mentally, "DOWN! DOWN!"
      Cypher thinks about his electric pulse rifle distractingly.
      Cypher holds your breasts still.
      Bell skims the metal shelves wonderingly.
      Cypher controls himself desperately. Bell grabs her tight black shirt wonderingly.
      Cypher taps his right foot repeatedly. Cypher bounces your breasts accidentally."
      Bell holds her tight black shirt against your breasts testingly.
      Cypher realizes then.
      Cypher stops immediately.
      Bell measures you and her tight black shirt.
      Bell smiles vibrantly to you, "How's that?"
      Cypher says finally, "Who's hungry, I sure am!"
      Cypher releases your breasts.
      Cypher leaves through a walkway leading west."
      --Thomas King--Lucius--
      "Well I Ain't Evil, I'm Just Good Lookin' "
      Alice Cooper
      "This Is Beetle, Is As Bad As Can"
      Beetlejuice
      "It takes guts to run away, you know. Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough"
      Rincewind

      Comment


      • #4
        Not the rolling on the floor kind of funny, but if you've played with chance or caleb you should get a giggle


        You introduce Chance to Caleb, "Caleb this is chance."
        Caleb followingly turns to Chance.
        You introduce Caleb to Chance, "And Chance, this is Caleb."
        You mention, "Something tells me you two'll get along."
        Chance waves at Caleb, "Hello."
        Caleb smiles slightly at Chance, "Hello. I am Caleb."
        Moriko asks you amusedly, "Since when do you do matchmaking?"
        Chance nods, "Hello. I am Chance."


        With this in mind I repost what I beleive is the archetypal Chance moment because it made me laugh then and it does now.

        Bell asks Chance wonderingly, "If this was a few sizes smaller, how would that be?
        Chance shrugs at Bell, "Tight?"
        GREENSKINS - First and only

        Comment


        • #5
          Ahh the wonders of sexual innuendo. Will they ever cease?

          OOC -- Aerun says, "I honestly hope there are not four of the skins. that could be a bit bad for puns"
          OOC -- Alex says, "Aerun doesn't like Four Skins?"
          OOC -- You say, "Ahh the fabled 4-skins. The original four"
          OOC -- You say, "But we lost our 4-skins. A long time ago, when we were "young" if you will"
          OOC -- Aerun says, "Oh how easily they get cut away"
          GREENSKINS - First and only

          Comment


          • #6
            Moriko glances between Cypher and you alternatingly, "Brawn....Brain."
            OOC -- Moriko says, "So wanted to say "Pinky and the Brain just then"
            OOC -- Cypher says, "Oh man. I'd be -pinky-"
            OOC -- You say to Cypher, "Say it."
            OOC -- Moriko says, "*cackles*"
            OOC -- Cypher says, "NARF!"
            OOC -- Doctor Hush says, "he eats blackholes"

            Comment


            • #7
              You suggest to Doctor Wei first, "Cypie is a bit paranoid, but everyone is to a degree. As for anger problems....eh...yea he can be very angsty and anger at times..but I'd say about 83% of the time oppose to the 99.3% of the time he use to be, so there has been improvement since hatching I guess."

              Doctor Wei hums.
              > peek now at misha
              You peek now at Misha.

              Misha frowns, "I don't have social problems. I have friends."

              Doctor Wei says to you, "A simple yes or no would suffice."

              Doctor Wei grins.

              OOC -- You laughingly say to Misha, "That should be on a shirt.."

              A book is as good as its binding, but only as perfect as the words written within it.


              Which way shall I fly
              Infinite wrath and infinite despair?
              Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;
              And in the lowest deep a lower deep,
              Still threat'ning to devour me, opens wide,
              To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven.

              -- Paradise Lost. Book iv. Line 73

              [OOC Page] from StoryCoder Azrael: "I'm only the diet coke of evil."


              Comment


              • #8
                Officer Meyar asks you again, "Will you cooperate with arrestation."
                Originally posted by Geist
                EDITED BY FORUM MODERATOR:
                Post deleted for limp, ineffectual, quasi-authoritarian "threat". Do better next time dork.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Cypher says, "Choice was made, nothing I can do apparently."

                  Lazar nods to Cypher, "See? Wasn't that much easier than riling up the girls?"

                  Cypher aims at Lazar quickly.

                  A loud pulsating sound can be heard as Cypher shoots Lazar's right knee with his rifle.
                  A slight sizzling sound emanates from within Lazar's flesh as it begins to burn.

                  Alaris glimpses at Misha and Lazar.

                  02:12 [Com|Lazar] "OH GOODNESS! IT ISN'T A TICKLE GUN!"

                  Cypher smells his electric pulse rifle smokily.

                  Misha yelps startledly.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You spank a teddy bear, "I own you, bitch."
                    A teddy bear says to you, "Great minds think alike!"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Adriana tilts her head at Alexander, "What's the big difference?"

                      OOC -- Harken says, "Have Alexis and Kitsuki ever met?"

                      Alexander notes to Adriana, "Your clothes."

                      Alexis says, "uh adriana, you could actually wear the skirt, instead of holding it."

                      OOC -- Alexis says, "no, alexis and kitsuki never met"

                      OOC -- Adriana says, "Oh... my bad!!!........"

                      Adriana wears a black ruffled skirt.

                      Alexis grins.

                      OOC -- Geno says, "*Waits*..."

                      OOC -- Adriana says, "Oops...really oops...."

                      OOC -- Alexander says, "*whistles innocently*"

                      OOC -- You say, "*rolls around laughing*"

                      OOC -- Alexis says, "that's entertainment........"

                      OOC -- Adriana says, "Oh come on...that's not that funny..."

                      OOC -- You say, "yes it is"

                      OOC -- Alexis says, "yeah, its not that funny....its HILARIOUS!!!!"

                      OOC -- Adriana says, "("

                      Adriana sighs lightly.

                      OOC -- You say, "some body post this on the forum"

                      Alexis says, "hey i was just joking."

                      OOC -- Adriana says, "No! Leave it alone!"

                      OOC -- Geno says, "Bah, that's nothing. One time in another game I was wearing only a satchel..."
                      Krysla

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This funny moment has nothing to do with Chance but it deserves to be on the funniest moments. This has a lot of the unimportant text cut out.

                        You yell knowingly, "Now i know."
                        >
                        > Adriana glances at you, "Know what?"

                        You tell Adriana, "What's behind that dented steel door outside."
                        >
                        > Adriana nods to you, "The thing that threatens our kind right?"

                        > smile brightly"It is a torture realm filled with pink fluffy pink kitties that sing
                        You smile brightly, "It is a torture realm filled with pink fluffy pink kitties that sing."
                        > Adriana turns to a narrow passageway.
                        > Malice stretches lengthily.
                        > Adriana giggles at you.

                        > You hear a woman calling "Lasely!" from a narrow passageway.

                        > OOC -- Krysla says to you, "I actually shuddered when you said that"

                        > OOC -- You say to Krysla, "It is the worst possible torture and nightmare known to me, i once had a dream about pink fluffy kitties singing in high-pitched voices the song Clementine"
                        >
                        > OOC -- Marra says, "O.o"
                        >
                        OOC -- You say, "Didn't sleep for days afterwards"

                        OOC -- Krysla says, "oh god now I'm gonna have nightmares"

                        OOC -- You say, "lol"

                        > OOC -- Krysla says, "pink fluffy kitties I can deal with but not singing pink fluffy kitties"

                        > >OOC -- You say to Krysla, "It would be worse than a hopfrog and a croc combined their attack would be scrambling your brain and make your ears bleed from their singing"
                        > I thought that was pretty funny

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You move from a rocky bank to Malice (unconscious).

                          You drop a large octopus on Malice (unconscious).

                          OOC -- Malice (unconscious) says, "ew...Im kissing octo-ass"

                          OOC -- You say, "pucker up...you're his bitch now"

                          OOC -- Malice (unconscious) says, "...*slices the thing in three pieces* ha...pimp slice!"
                          Krysla

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            > You approach a rocky bank.
                            A quiet pulsating sound can be heard as Krysla shoots a large octopus with her pistol.
                            A slight sizzling sound emanates from within a large octopus' flesh as it begins to burn.
                            You jump on a large octopus.
                            You allow a large octopus to approach Malice.
                            A large octopus moves from Horran to Malice.
                            A quiet pulsating sound can be heard as Horran attempts to shoot a large octopus with his pistol. The shot completely misses.
                            Krysla adjusts the knob upon her shielding device.
                            > bite his he
                            Horran adjusts the knob upon his shielding device.
                            > You bite an octopus' head.
                            > w
                            A giant octopus attacks, and wraps his barbed tentacles around your neck.
                            You lose consciousness
                            .

                            (everything bold is funny)
                            This is they crazy guy..you may know him as Malice or that insane idiot thats about to jump in front of the train...whats that mother? That light isnt heaven and I -should- go to it? Ok!...um...SPLAT!

                            Malice (how the crazies will see him)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              What's a Water fight between friends?

                              You yell, "WATER FIGHT!!!!"

                              You move from Boadicea to Krysla.

                              Boadicea narrows her gimlet deep green eyes slightly.

                              You splash Krysla.

                              You move from Krysla to Boadicea.

                              You splash Boadicea.

                              Boadicea glances left.

                              You say, "C'mon, don't be party poopers."

                              Boadicea glances right.

                              Krysla stands up on a fluorescent pool.

                              Boadicea suddenly tackles you, "Garrrr."

                              OOC -- You say, "OMG, Krys is Jesus! She's walking on the water"

                              Jerodinian goes under the water.

                              Boadicea falls in a fluorescent pool with you.

                              Boadicea splutters wetly, "Pthfthtt."

                              Jerodinian surfaces, splahing wildly.

                              Boadicea dunks your head again.

                              Krysla dives into Jerod.

                              Jerodinian surfaces again.

                              You dunk Boadicea.

                              You move from Boadicea to Krysla.

                              You dunk Krysla.

                              Boadicea flails comically.

                              Boadicea bolts upwardly.

                              Jerodinian dives backwards into the water,.

                              Krysla moves from a fluorescent pool to Boadicea.

                              Krysla tickles Boadicea.

                              Boadicea snaps at Krysla's slender hands animalistically.

                              Jerodinian waves from far out in the water.

                              Boadicea dives under a fluorescent pool.

                              Boadicea swims under a fluorescent pool stealthily.

                              Krysla moves from Boadicea to Jerodinian.

                              Krysla tickles you.

                              You laugh hysterically.

                              You pull Krysla under a fluorescent pool.

                              Krysla examines the surroundings.

                              Jerodinian goes under the water.

                              Boadicea grabs Jerodinian's feet while under the water.

                              Boadicea pulls downwardly.

                              Jerodinian goes farther under the water.

                              You allow Boadicea to stand Jerodinian.

                              Boadicea moves from a rocky bank to Jerodinian.

                              Boadicea stands on your shoulders.

                              Jerodinian surfaces, spitting glowing water from his mouth.

                              Krysla grabs Jerodinian's ankles and pulls him down.

                              Boadicea falls backwardly.

                              Jerodinian goes under water again.

                              Jerodinian surfaces once more, splashing everyone near him.

                              You laugh hysterically.

                              Boadicea gasps suddenly.

                              Boadicea points past you, "Octopus!"

                              Jerodinian looks behind himself.

                              Boadicea dunks your head laughingly, "Sucka!"

                              Krysla tickles you.

                              Jerodinian disappears under water, laughing and spluttering at the same time.

                              Boadicea retreats quickly.

                              Krysla moves from Jerodinian to Boadicea.

                              Krysla moves to Boadicea.

                              Jerodinian surfaces, spitting water again.

                              Krysla tickles Boadicea.

                              Jerodinian dives under the water.

                              Boadicea dips her slender hands in a fluorescent pool.

                              Boadicea splashes Krysla hugely.

                              Jerodinian swims stealthily under the water.

                              Krysla dunks Boadicea.

                              You move from a fluorescent pool to Krysla.

                              You grab Krysla's feet.

                              You pull Krysla under a fluorescent pool.

                              Boadicea coughs and splutters and kicks wildly.

                              Boadicea glimpses at her electric pulse rifle.

                              Krysla grabs you.

                              Krysla dives.

                              Jerodinian disappears under the water, kicking away.

                              Jerodinian surfaces, floating face down.

                              Boadicea evilly considers what would happen if she shot the water with an electric rifle with Krysla and Jerodinian in the pool.

                              Boadicea approaches a rocky bank.

                              Boadicea sneaks towards a rocky bank.

                              Boadicea steps onto a rocky bank safely.

                              Jerodinian remains face down still.

                              Krysla pulls you.

                              Jerodinian remains still.

                              Boadicea extends her sonic fishing pole.

                              Boadicea moves from a rocky bank to Jerodinian.

                              Boadicea pokes you with her sonic fishing pole testingly, "Floater?"

                              Jerodinian doesn't move.

                              Boadicea moves from Jerodinian to a rocky bank.

                              Krysla punches your head.

                              Boadicea steps onto a rocky bank still.

                              Boadicea tisks at Krysla, "And they say -I'm- violent."

                              Krysla snickers.

                              Jerodinian brings his head up, smiling. "Gotcha!"

                              You grab Krysla's head.

                              You dunk Krysla's head.

                              Boadicea slowly lifts her electric pulse rifle.

                              Jerodinian breathes heavily as he makes his way to the rocky bank.

                              Boadicea shakes her electric pulse rifle, "Traitor!"

                              Krysla approaches a rocky bank.

                              Krysla swims to a rocky bank.

                              You say, "Wow, I didn't know I could hold my breath that long."
                              I'm that Security Guy that everyone just loves.

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