The Drunken Ranger: Vol. 1 Part 3

[Lobo]

All right kids, after much delay, Part 3 of The Anime Is Upon Us is here! This is the one were the Duelists take the stage, and if you thought the castle was going to the fire and brimstone place, just wait till you see what happens!

Note: There are a few notes at the end of this part for all of you folks who don’t know much about Anime, explaining where I’m getting some of the images and such. I know the saying “It isn’t a joke if you have to explain it” but I just want you all know from where my sick mind is coming from

And now, for your reading pleasure…

The Anime is Upon Us: Part 3: Return of the Dueli

(Voice of Dragonball Z announcer) As explosions, fighting and all sorts of other craziness rock the castle, our heroes stay in the safety of the Dining Hall to contemplate what to do to save Castle Marrack from its current predicament.

Doren softly asks Elea “So…since we’re stuck in here…you wanna…you know?”

Doren nods his head expectantly

Elea gasps indignantly “DOREN! How could you…at a time like this?”

Doren says sheepishly “well…it’s just been so long…”

Elea shakes her head disgustedly

Elea asks Lobo “What did you say again?”

Lobo replies “I asked how you got Serista and that Lina girl to stop fighting in the courtyard”

Elea explains “Oh, I just happened to find some newly awakened jerk named Creamygoodness*. Brought him out there and told them he had been making some…lewd remarks about their chest size, or lack thereof as the case may be.”

Elea grins evilly “Last time I saw them they were dragging the poor sap into Serista’s auditorium talking about turning him into a newt…”

Lobo says concernedly “You know Elea, some times you can be really evil…”

Elea winks “I know”

Ayeka asks “Speaking of evil, where did Ryoko run off to?”

Akito asks “And Megumi?”

Lobo glances at the dining hall

Lobo says “Hey, where did Duren go?”

Ryoko, Megumi, Haruka and Michiru** enter from the swinging kitchen door to the north

Ryoko grins broadly and leans on Lobo

Ryoko tells Lobo “Ya know, your friend has a surprising amount of stamina”

Ryoko winks saucily
Lobo blinks “What do you mean he has a lot of stamina…oh…OH…You’re kidding right? You all didn’t…”

Ryoko nods affirmatively “Yep. Guess we found the barbarian side of him.”

Minako ask confusedly “Haruka, I thought you and Michiru only liked…well…women”

Everyone blinks

Haruka shrugs “Well I guess we just wanted to see what we were missing. And if they’re all like him…”

Michiru blushes

Doren mumbles defeatedly “Four women…lucky son of a…”

Duren stumbles into the room from the swinging kitchen door to the north

Duren glances at the room

The room stares at Duren

Duren exclaims slowly “I…am…A GOD!!!”

Duren laughs maniacally

Duren pauses, then collapses onto the floor

Everyone gasps

Lobo runs to Duren “DUREN!”

Ewan begins to examine Duren

Ewan says “The poor boy seems to have had a heart attack…”

Makoto say commandingly “Alright, everyone out of the way”

Makoto kneels next to Duren and puts her hands on his chest

Makoto yells “CLEAR!”

Arcs of miniature lightning shoot out of Makoto’s hands and into Duren’s chest

Duren opens his eyes wide and gasps

Makoto nods approvingly

Duren asks weakly “What…what happened?”

Doren replies “you got lucky, you bloody bastard…”

Lobo shakes his head

Lobo asks “What ELSE can happen today?”

The double doors to the south open wide to reveal what appears to be four women fully enclosed in a strange type of mechanical armor***.

The woman in the red armor removes her helmet. It is Faer.

Faer shakes her head quickly and glances at the room

Faer asks “What?”

Everyone stares at Faer

Faer says understandingly “Ooooh, your wondering about the armor aren’t you.” Faer turns to the other armor clad women “Better take off your helmets.”

The other three women remove their helmets. It is Kiera, Edanya and Arrion.

Lobo asks amazedly “Faer, where did you get those…suits?”

Faer explains “Oh, seems that some of our new guests used these in their last lives. Crime fighters or something like that. Well anyway, they wanted to take it easy in this life, so they let us have their equipment.”

Faer says proudly “From now on, you may call us…The DUEL SABERS…”

Everyone blinks confusedly

Edanya says defensively “Don’t look at me, Kiera is the one who thought up the name”

Kiera yells at Edanya “HEY!”

Katherine asks softly “Where are the rest of the Duelists?”

Faer replies “Hmm? Oh, well most of them are still training with Goku and Ranma, and some of the others are watching Robert and Catharsis fight…”

Lobo asks “Wait wait, Robert and Catharsis are FIGHTING? About what?”

Arrion explains “Well, you see she and Robert were checking out all those big machines outside, and Robert made a …comment…on the sera’s driving skills…and well…”

Edanya says “All hell broke loose. The next thing we know Catharsis is jumping into this Gundam^ thing and Robert jumps into the YF-19^^ and they just start fighting it out…”

Punzel asks “Where are they now?”

Faer says “Oh, I’d say about two thousand feet”

Lobo shakes his head “it figures…”

Faer states “Well, we must be off…evil to fight and all”

Faer nods to Kiera, Edanya, and Arrion as they leave the dining hall through the double doors to the south.

Lobo gulps his beer “I think I’m going to need more of these”

Mark, Edouard, Goku and Ranma enter the room from the double doors to the south

Mark tells the quiet female servant “Barmaid, four waters please.”

The quiet female servant begins to bring Mark the water mugs, but slips and spills the water on Ranma. As the water hits him, Ranma changes from a boy to a girl.

Everyone gasps

Ranma sighs “this figures…”

Ghobii studies Ranma

Ghobii studies the puddle of water

Ghobii studies Punzel

Punzel says angrily “Don’t EVEN think about it…”

Lobo shakes his head “I don’t want to know, I REALLY don’t want to know…”


Ok, here are those notes I was talking about:

* - Thought this up when I was talking to a friend about some of the stupid names PKers and other role-playing ner’do’wells take in order to draw attention to themselves or disrupt the game. Figured Elea would be one would have no problem putting these dorks in their place.

** - I’m trying to use the Japanese names for characters when there is a difference between them and an English version, in this case characters from Sailor Moon. For those who are wondering, (ok, probably no one is wondering, or reading this for that point) they go as follows;

Makoto – Lita, Minako – Mina, Michiru – Michelle, Haruka – (don’t know her English name, but its Sailor Uranus)

Also, In the Japanese version, Michiru and Haruka were lesbian lovers…but of course the American censors don’t think kids can handle that (bloody fascists…)

*** - Picturing the HARDsuits from Bubblegum Crisis 2040

^ - Unit one from Gundam 0083

^^ - from Macross Plus (anyone looking for a good mecha fight scenes should check this OVA out, AMAZING animation)

Well, hope you liked this part, at least I got the duelists into it. Stand by for the fourth and final chapter to this story: The Anime Is Upon Us: The Phantom Plotline!

Sidenote: You owe me one for this Duren

[Powermoose]

*blink* *blink* *sweatdrop*


Duren

[Darren Brimhall]

I have herd that Sailor Saturn can shift gender at will, or she's very good at passing herself off as a man.
BGC 2040, So your more into the modern interpritation of the old OAV Series. But I still prefer Sonda's design work (original OAV) to the 2040 work. Just so people will know; Priss' had the dart shooter, Sylvia had the laser sword, Linna had the razor ribbons, and all Nene had was a machine-gun-- besides the communications array carried (collasped)on her back--and all had 'Knuckle Boomers', just think of a cross between a phaser and brass knuckles that can only be fired on impact with..anything
Macross Plus is far, far more than just Mecha action. It packs a pretty powerful storyline as well. I have this in it's original japanese form--just promise me you'll stay away from the english dubbed version.

Darren Brimhall

[Faith]

Hey Lobo, love the stories you wrote! You'll be famous someday...although I'm sad Faith's not in it...but it's all right! The second or the first, i believe was hilarious...with Philo and Punzel...keep it up!

Caroline ~*Faith*~

[nimrod]

Faer says “Oh, I’d say about two thousand feet”

Hmmmm, well it is an improvement over six feet under anyway.

I can even believe that Robert would make some kind of idiodic comment to someone like that to start that fight.

Now I need to borrow Darren's copy of Macross Plus to see how bad this turns out.

Jim aka
The Nimrod

[Darren Brimhall]

Now I need to borrow Darren's copy of Macross Plus to see how bad this turns out.

Do you know Japanese? My copy's unsubtitled.. But You can find a subtitled copy (or order it) at SUNCOAST. You'll pay, as I did to get the last volume of EL HAZARD:THE MAGNIFICANT WORLD, but they do their damnest to deliver so it's worth the money.

Darren Brimhall

*stares numbly* Oh my...


*considers Lobo* *pause* You fiend!
LOL...

That was funny... It really was... red armor...heheh *Ponders*

Now where could I really get that armor for Faer? *idly contemplates closed areas of the Castle*

Keep the stories coming... I love reading them!

[Darren Brimhall]

That was funny... It really was... red armor...heheh *Ponders*

Now where could I really get that armor for Faer? *idly contemplates closed areas of the Castle*

The red hardsuit? Oh dear, Lobo's given you Nene's suit. All you've got is the wrist mounted machine-gun, along with the ability to hack into any computer system around and a really fancy satilite communications system that collaspes neatly on your back.
You're not much in a fight, but you can sure pull in all those foreign TV channels that Cable can't get.

Darren Brimhall

[Kyle]

Your the funniest Anime writer this side of Rumiko Takahashi (I hope I spelled that right(by the way, is there a 'hope' in the castle? hope seems like a reasonable name.))

[Lobo]

you sure about that Darren? Thought the leader had the read hardsuit (cant remember names right now, Priss right?)

[Darren Brimhall]

Priss was blue..Sylvia's and Linna's were the same color or close to it, that would be grey..But I am sure Nene's was red.
Now note that I am going by the orignial Bubblegum Crisis, the one with the designs by Kenichi Sonoda. BGC 2040 I do have and collect, but have yet to really sit down and watch do to my schedual. It may be a whole different scheme colorwise.

Darren Brimhall

[Lucas]

Nene's was pink. Sylia was dark blue, Linna was green, Priss was light blue. All of them had grey on them to greater or lesser extent. I think Lobo was probably thinking of the extra armor Priss could add when her motorcycle transformed into an Aliens-like powersuit, that was red.

Honestly, it makes little difference though. I didn't look twice at it in the story because it made no difference to me what color the suit was - it was still funny as hell.

[Darren Brimhall]

You mean the Motoslave Armor, which was in it's own sence a Boomer.
In that case the Duelist's would have to have crawled on their hands and knees to get into the Dining Hall..Or they just simply widened the door..

Darren Brimhall

[Umichan]

Originally posted by Darren Brimhall:
I have herd that Sailor Saturn can shift gender at will, or she's very good at passing herself off as a man.

*blinkblinkblink*

I can't believe I never saw this post before... But my little otaku heart almost failed me when I read that...

*shift into her I'm-a-Bishoujo-Senshi-Sailormoon-fan-and-worship-the-Outer-Senshi-as-Goddesses mode*

Arg! No! No! No! You got it all wrong! ^^;;; Sailorsaturn and Haruka are not the same person! Saturn's real name is Hotaru and Haruka is Sailoruranus.

And no, Haruka is not male, never was, and will never be (sadly in a sense 'cause she'd make a hot guy! )... Not being in a good mood, I'd whack you repeatedly for insulting Haruka-sama who is my role-model and Supreme Goddess above all (Hint: I'm a tomboy... But that doesn't mean I'm lesbian I just adore this character).

Anyway... err... Anime rocks!!! Japan should rule the world!

Okie! I'll go to bed now! ^^;

-Gaby AKA The Crazy Tomboy Behind Sera Umichan ^-^

P.S. Lobo, I hope you're aware that if I didn't know you, I'd chase you around with big knives for what you did to my two favourite characters (Haruka and Michiru... hum... Duh! They come in pair )... But I won't... You're lucky. ^^ Oh! And I got an idea if you'd ever write another story like that... > ) Contact me if you really wanna know... *cackles insanely*

[Retribution]

So Duren? How much did you have to pay Lobo to get THAT off?